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The People We Grew Up With

by Gray Joy

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1.
Cheap Dinner 03:34
2.
Dirt 03:11
For the pure sake of progress You could take it from me You’re always bending the truth and putting dirt in your eyes until this world is something you want to see And on the note of suggestion You’re burning out like a wick And though you snuffed the flame, you’re trying to place blame on those around who are still holding their breath Are you awake? Is anyone listening - To the Devil and God clawing at the walls of your skull, trying to escape? Are you awake? Is anyone out there? And was isolation all you dreamed it be or did you need someone to care? Circle back to the center In focus and in frame Without a structure to reference or hold the thought to dissect the schema loses all its shape Sometimes it’s alarming I can’t quite tell what I missed And though the path of the knife can be seen, it still seems like its act had permanence Indulge yourself Are you awake? Is anyone listening - To the Devil and God clawing at the walls of your skull, trying to escape? Are you awake? Is anyone out there? And was isolation all you dreamed it be or did you need someone to care? Some say the apple never falls from the tree, but even so, I dearly hope you’ll grow into twice the man you expect yourself to be Are you awake? Is anyone listening - To the Devil and God clawing at the walls of your skull, trying to escape? Are you awake? Is anyone out there? And was isolation all you dreamed it beas you drowned all your potential in apathy and alcohol So strangely assured that there’s not a force on earth that could ever change your course
3.
You make time and calculations, knowing when to smile, and how to shift your weight to hold a gaze, But do these actions fall in line with all of your contradicting thoughts? Depraved and violent paradox Your unconscious observation Misogynist repose, embedded long ago in wasted innocence Her gaze meets yours, you smile; an unsettling facade, dissembling a plan you calculated all along Try that girl on for size She looks so lonely in the light of this room Try that girl on for size Well aware she won’t mean anything to you From the apartment hallway, to the balcony ledge Half-heresy to wish the skin relieved of grime and dust set in Floorboards writhe under each step Try that girl on for size She looks so lonely in the light of this room Try that girl on for size Well aware she won’t mean anything to you And after all, they’re just as empty as you tell yourself they are so what’s the harm in filling voids? And all in all, you’ll waste away before the night has reached its end so shift your weight again (Try that girl on for size She looks so lonely in the light of this room Try that girl on for size Well aware she won’t mean anything to you) When the sunlight creeps into the bedroom you’ll have grown cold And no warmth from the body there could ever spare you from the icy hold on your heart You invited loneliness in Its gaze held by a smile and a shift Try that girl on for size She looks so lonely in the light of this room Try that girl on for size Well aware she won’t mean anything to you And after all, they’re just as empty as you tell yourself they are so what’s the harm in filling voids? And all in all, you’ll waste away before the night has reached its end so shift your weight again (Try that girl on for size She looks so lonely in the light of this room Try that girl on for size Well aware she won’t mean anything to you)
4.
It’s funny how in the haze The strangest moments stick out, highlighted on the page Of a script that someone else had written for you Just an actor, another player merely passing through In moments of refrain, you were just Intent on damning the words set to dissarange Synergy between paper and the ink The phrase you seek remains always out of reach The bigger picture Always thought about, but rarely spoken of Looking for answers to questions you can’t quite recall In waiting, I’d have hoped To sever ties between the prospect and what I know In and out; does this unrest have a cure? Does it lie in this haze, so furtively obscured? In lessons by the day (I think) Turning round the moments burned into my mind In fading context, just past the scope of the light: Febrile stanzas on a script I didn’t write The bigger picture Always thought about, but rarely spoken of Looking for answers to questions you can’t quite recall To my frank disgust and revulsion I feel entitled to better things that I know I don’t deserve As I yearn for the edge of the knife In shame and by moral contortion I feel resentment for those I love and I feel it’s getting worse As I yearn for the edge of the knife And you ask for reason beyond the hope that all the pieces will just fall into place And that the peace I search for will be found in a metaphor or clever turn of phrase But how unfulfilling a conclusion to a story that had you on your seat’s edge For so long Maybe too long As though the pages of a child’s story contained some kind of truth that you just can’t find The cycle repeats And as though in reply I say I’m haunted by The bigger picture Often thought about but rarely spoken of Looking for answers to problems I create and inflame but never bring myself to resolve And now I’ll find it In the space between unrest and barely waking up To routine progress like every effort made is misplaced and every line has been undone

about

We recorded this demo mostly by ourselves, with the help from our good friend Zach Ostwalt who recorded drums at Amplify Studios in Downtown, Billings, special thanks to him. We hope that everyone enjoys this little taste of something bigger that we'll be reaching for hopefully soon!

Wonderful art by Gunnar Paul Stephan, @gunnarstepart

credits

released August 10, 2019

Special thanks: Zach Ostwalt, Shane De Leon, Gunnar Stephan, and our good pal Jax Sutton

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Gray Joy Billings, montana

Four guys from Billings that make music for your mom. Let us rock your basement.

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